It’s week seven now so it’s fitting I picked a phone app called the “7 Minute Workout.”
I wish I could tell you I planned it, but it’s just a coincidence.
It’s a free workout app that has seven workouts that should take about seven minutes each. There is not much more to it. There is not a whole lot of customization to it. After working out for five days using it, I’m not sure if it updates with new workouts regularly or if you have to pay to get that feature.
I previously complained about the Nike Training app for the lack of customization, but this app feels more bare bones than that. If said exercise is too hard or you just don’t feel like doing it, there is no skip button that keeps the workout moving along at a fast pace. You just have to sit there for 30 seconds while you contemplate how your hardworking, in-shape teenage self would be disgusted if he could see you now.
With it being a free app, there are ads present. I would not call them super intrusive since they are not videos. Usually a full screen one would pop up right before or after a workout, but it would not take long to exit out of it.
The app does want to track your weight and wants you to rate how hard each workout was for you. I freely rated each workout, but I own no scale and have not weighed myself outside of a doctor’s office in several years now.
Maybe it is because I know the number will just depress me. As a super skinny guy for most of my adolescence, weight only came on once I stopped being active after the final whistle of my football career. I still identify and see myself in that light despite knowing my clothes are bought in a bigger size now.
Instead of beating myself up about it, I have come to terms with what I look like and I am okay. Until a doctor tells me I am unhealthy or I really start to hate how I look, I am not going to worry about it.
Putting numbers to it would just ruin it since I still remember what I weighed when I was younger. The simple math equation of how much more I weigh now to then would never make me feel good, so I just don’t want to know.
Back to the app, there are some fine print readings that go against its title. With “7 Minute Workouts” you expect every workout to be seven minutes long. It’s what it’s called.
Every workout is done in a circuit style, with 30 seconds to do as much or as little of each exercise before moving on to the next one, with 10 seconds in between each one. It’s pretty set in stone.
In reality, the five workouts I did took somewhere between seven to nine minutes. I never paused during a workout. I guess those five seconds add up.
It is not the biggest deal, but when a company names something a specific time because the whole gimmick is it only takes that long and then it routinely goes over said time, you just ask why.
Why not name it “8 Minute Workout?” Why did it have to be seven minutes? Is that just a more pleasing advertising number?
This is petty I know, but as someone who has mostly only stuck to 10 minute workouts in the past, I like the full round evenness of the number, seeing an even shorter workout promise got me to download the app.
One last thing that contradicts the app’s name that I did not appreciate. In the instructions that touted how the app can change people’s lives, how you do not need any equipment, ect., it says workouts should be repeated two to three times.
Excuse me? If I do this workout again or even a third time, that is not seven minutes. I know 14 or 20 minutes is not that long either, but as someone who has dedicated to spending longer taking a shower each morning than I do working out for six weeks now, I am not doing that.
The promise in the app’s name says seven minutes. You can’t get it done in seven minutes, don’t name your app that.

To read the full story, pick up a copy of the weekend edition of the Bowie News.