In case you haven’t already been invited to a get-together, Super Bowl Sunday is coming up.
This column is not for the person who has spent every weekend gorging on football since late August to the point they didn’t know what to do with themselves last weekend with whatever the Pro Bowl is now.
It’s for the person whose only exposure to football on television is it being the cause of other people’s extreme mood in your house. That annoying show which runs over its time slot more often than should be allowed when you just want to watch “60 Minutes.”
The all-encompassing sport that everyone around you is so obsessed with and you feel left out at this point in your life.
If this is the only football game you watch any minute of this year and would like to know a bit more than just which team is the underdog so you can root for them, then this is for you.
The two teams are the San Francisco 49ers and the Kansas City Chiefs competing in Super Bowl LVIII or number 58 because roman numerals are cool.
If you are feeling a little deja-vu when you see these team names, you are not going crazy. Yes, these two teams played each other four years ago. Yes, the Kansas City Chiefs have been in the Super Bowl four of the last five years while winning three of them, including that first game against the 49ers.
Despite that, they are not some juggernaut team or even the favorites heading into this game. This is arguably the worst Chiefs’ team of all of the most recent ones, but somehow through sports magic, some all-time great players and maybe some magic from Taylor Swift, they have clawed their way back.
Yes, a huge storyline is the fact that one of Kansas City’s best players, tight end Travis Kelce, is dating Swift. It has been going on all season and every game there are at least a few cuts to a luxury box of her reacting to the game. Some people are sick of this by now. Even as not a proclaimed Swifty, I think it is massively overblown, but we can deal with the 10-20 cuts we’ll get in-between plays.
Still, the main reason the Chiefs are riding their little dynasty now is because of quarterback Patrick Mahomes. The Texas-born and Texas Tech graduate has been the best quarterback in the league since he emerged six years ago and is already on pace to be among the greatest quarterbacks in league history. A win will enter him into the conversation of all-time greats at his position and he is only 28 years-old. We need to enjoy him even if it feels like we are living in a time loop with all of his winning. Off the field, he’s still likeable at this point and has no scandals to speak of outside of being caught with a “dad bod” with his shirt off in the locker room. He took it in stride since he is in fact a dad.
The only big name to know on defense for the Chiefs is the plainly named Chris Jones, a big pass rushing defensive lineman who has been along for the ride.
Coach Andy Reid is putting the finishing touches on a Hall of Fame career, after being called one of the best offensive coaches who could never win the big one up until this recent run. His Santa Claus energy is being rewarded.
With all of this recent success, maybe you still don’t want to root for a potential dynasty that despite being the technical underdogs, have championship experience to carry them through. Just remember the Chiefs have already lost one of their recent Super Bowl appearances, so they have suffered a little.
Also take into account, Kansas City had no Super Bowl appearances since 1970 up until this recent run started. The fans had almost 50 years of barely being relevant outside of a couple of fun offensive eras.
Maybe I am trying to influence you because the favorite 49ers have cost my sad Dallas Cowboys both in recent years and historically in the ‘80s and ‘90s.
San Francisco was the team of the ‘80s in the NFL, racking up four Super Bowl wins with the at the time quarterback “GOAT” Joe Montana before getting one more in 1995 to ruin the Cowboys chance to three-peat.
While the 49ers haven’t won since and lost their most two recent appearances in 2013 and 2020, that type of 15-year run means they can never garner any sympathy. Heck, the Cowboys never even had that type of run and people hate them much more, though for various other reasons.
Beyond my bias, this San Francisco team has been the front-runner almost all season. The 49ers are stacked with so many weapons on offense I don’t want to bore you by naming them all.
The person getting the ball to all of these guys is possibly one of the great underdog stories if you want to get sappy. Quarterback Brock Purdy was not expected to be relevant when he was drafted as the very last pick in the 2022 draft.
The last pick in every draft gets called “Mr. Irrelevant” and gets a celebration in their honor amongst other stuff. Only two players, a guard and a kicker, have ever had any type of long-term career in the NFL so the ironic nickname has been true until recently.
Purdy has been so good since taking over midway through last year and all of this season, that people still aren’t sure if he is actually this good. There is just no way this physically unimpressive, baby-faced guy who has been average at best in both high school and college at Iowa State University can just walk into the NFL and be one of the best quarterbacks in the league.
It’s mostly because of his stacked skill players on offense and a head coach named Kyle Shanahan, who has been one of the most influential offensive coaches in the last 10 years. He is only missing a Super Bowl ring to cement his legacy. He is also the son of two-time Super Bowl winning Coach Mike Shanahan.
The thing that puts the 49ers over the top is their defense that also has many big names like recent defensive player of the year Nick Bosa along with linebacker Fred Warner.
Despite being stacked, San Francisco has just barely survived both of its playoff games against opponents many thought it had a huge talent advantage.
Root for the front runners at your discretion.
Some last second reminders about the game. It starts early at 5:30 p.m. and is on CBS or Paramount+ if you are a cord cutter.
Reba McEntire is singing the national anthem and Usher is the millennial act for the halftime show. My junior high self will probably identify with his 20 year old biggest hits, but you have probably heard them as well at any dance during the past 14 years.